2010年初一

今天是2010年初一。是华人应该高兴的一天。可是我的心情很差。。。

真的不明白为什么每次一提起他，你就会有这样的反应。是！他是有打过我一次。可是我也明白当时的我的确有错。每个人都会有犯错的时候。他也跟我道了歉，我也原谅他了。而且从那天过后他再也没有打我了。你根本都不明白，根本都不了解，一心只想着要我们分开。就因为你不喜欢他就可以着样吗？难道我喜欢谁还要得到你的同意吗？你们这样对我，我真的很辛苦。我知道我有说过要离开他。可是那不是一件说到就能做到的事。而且当时我们还在气头上，说的都是气话。冷静下来想一想其实只是说说罢了。你摸摸自己的良心问问看。如果你站在我的立场，你觉得你做得到吗？

我真的很后悔为什么当初要跟你说那么多。每次一提起他你就跟我翻脸。每次都这样我真的很辛苦！你可以不要跟我讲话，你可以每天脸黑黑对这我，可是我已经受不了了！每次有这种事都是我先开口跟你说话。为什么我要受这种委屈！根本就没事好好的，开开心心吃团圆饭。。你就突然提起他然后咬我一口。就是没事找事做，浪费时间，浪费精神。

我不想再管了。。。我真的很累。。。分开不是，不分开也不是。。。 我真的很讨厌为什么我会在这个世界上！

我的心很痛。为什么我的姐姐会这样。什么事情一定要顺着她。为什么我总是要默默的承受这些问题。还以为我还有个姐姐能告诉她我所遇到的困难和问题。现在看来根本没有人是可以让我相信了。没有人可以了解我的心情。。。就好像被困在一个地方。。。 好痛苦！

EMO again...

I'm a failure.. everything i do.. is always wrong..

My results is not good enough to enter a local uni..

I'm so clumsy that I always make mistake at work..

I’m so stupid that I always can’t control the car well..

MY relationship goes on and off.. and i'm always the one at fault..

I really feel like giving up everything..

Just sit there and stare into space and put everything aside..

I don’t want to keep thinking all this..

But I cant control it.. not even when I’m sleeping..

Very sad and feeling down now.. only feel like crying…

Who can save me?

Morning

Feel weak
Feel like vomiting
Breathing difficulties
Chest pain
Eyes pain
Extremely tired

Emotional.. this morning she wake up like hell..

I guess she fall asleep while crying.. waking up with red swollen eyes.. very painful, very tired..

Cant walk properly to kitchen, she even feel like vomiting and it sux seriously..
She use the ice cubes to massage her eyes but it doesn’t seems to get better..
And.. she was late for work..

Before rushing out of the house she took a sip of water.. Stitches came about as she walk to the station..

Stupid mrt come le.. didn’t want to miss the train, she climb up the stairs.. this decision make her feel even worse.

By then, she was having some difficulties in breathing. There’s a sharp pain in her chest whenever she inhale. Afraid that she’ll faint during the ride, she took out some sweet to chew.

Later, she received sms from someone who cares for her, she came to realize that this is the only person she can share her sorrow with.
A friend who is worth to be with.

Right now, she just has to learn from mistake, forget about the failures and move on… =/

The truth of leen

SHE IS DISRESPECT
SHE IS UNREASONABLE
SHE GIVE STUPID EXCUSES
SHE NEVER GROW UP
SHE IS CHILDISH
SHE IS A BAD GAL

MIGHT AS WELL GO AND DIE!

Memories

ALL MEMORIES ARE MEANT TO BE THERE.

LEARNING TO LET GO.

HEALING.

I'LL BE BACK SOON.